Understanding "The Day that I Became a Young Lady"

So, I’m assuming that you’ve made your first impressions of me and my work based on my first story, but I want to let you know that I am not a victim. I am not a survivor. My ‘era of adolescence’ was not a series of unfortunate events. Things happen, and life goes on. However, this piece of creative nonfiction is very special to me because it depicts the less than favourable entrance into adolescence for young Ashley. I truly cannot remember the first time that I was ever sexualized or harassed, but this particular instance of harassment came to the forefront of my mind when I was asked to write this paper for a creative writing course. My classmates and I were asked to recount a distinct memory after looking at photos of ourselves as young people (preferably children). I found an old photo of my eleven-year-old self at my primary school graduation ceremony, which made me search in my mind for all of the substantial events that happened during that phase of my life. When I remembered the events that transpired during that particular church fun day, which happened about a year prior to my graduation, I thought “eh, close enough.”

Not only was my childhood and naiveté diminished on that day, but my perception of men and women, both young and old, began to form, not necessarily because of the harassment I experienced, but because of the words of my father. While ‘protecting’ First Cousin and I from the boys, blame was cast on me (and my mother by extension) by my father for wearing clothing that was a little too provocative. My conservative conditioning thereafter encouraged me to believe that women who were excited to show off their figures were whores, and men who made advances at these women were, in a sense, unable to control themselves. However, as a twenty-one year old budding feminist, I have to say that young Ashley was (obviously) wrong. Instead of demonising young women who want to embrace their bodies, shouldn’t we teach our young men to respect young women, regardless of their clothing? Why is it that I, a ten-year-old girl, was subtly blamed for the actions of a thirteen-year-old boy? Why was the boy privy to sexual acts at such a young age? What was he observing in his own upbringing that made him have these ideas? My views might be too liberal, and I know that if my parents read this, they would say that I’m getting all these crazy ideas because I attend university in Canada, but the solution to these problems are rooted in unlearning the internalised misogyny that exists in all of us, so that we can create a safer future for the young boys and girls to come. I am still unlearning, and it is never too late for you to start doing the same.